@Bryan-Square - Based on your continued silence and the multiple months of silence from Square’s “customer success” people, should I just assume Square has no avenue for giving me status on this problem? Is there no possible way for me to reach someone higher up the chain? I understand this may be a bit of a corner case, but the lack of communication from multiple lanes of support is very frustrating.
I sincerely understand your frustration with the lack of communication and resolution. It’s never a good feeling when you’re trying to get answers and encountering silence.
While I want to help, I need to be transparent: the way you’re using the site falls outside our standard supported use cases. This means that while the issue you’re experiencing is valid, it may not be prioritized for a fix in our development pipeline.
The best path forward would be to continue working with our Customer Success team through the official support channels. While I understand you’ve faced delays there, they remain the team empowered to handle these situations and provide status updates. Unfortunately, I don’t have a way to escalate this beyond those channels. 
Okie doke, thanks for your response. I understand your personal ability to help is limited.